Jumat, 06 September 2013

Is He The One? (By James Bauer)





Take comfort. The level of energy required for the romantic phase of a relationship cannot and should not realistically continue indefinitely. For the two of you to become true life partners, the passion should always remain, but the expression of that love and passion will change as the relationship deepens. 



Flowers and chocolates and showing up unexpectedly as you leave work are fun, but this level of romance often precedes a phase of the relationship that involves a sense of "mutual ownership." He becomes comfortable in your presence and feels that he can really be himself. This could mean he flips on the TV and puts his feet up in your apartment rather than spending every moment of his visit following you around like a puppy. If he is still treating you with deep respect and showing a continued interest in sharing his life with you, there's no reason to bolt. 

The other common reason behind the question, "Is he the one?" is not as fun to talk about. This one has to do with more than just a nervous feeling in the pit of your stomach when you think about making a commitment. The best way to recognize it, and distinguish it from other critical thoughts about the relationship, is by asking yourself the following question. "Do I feel lonely when I'm spending time alone with him?" If you do, the connection at the deepest level either never took root, or died off as you learned more about each other over time. If you feel yourself longing to get out and be around other people when spending time with him, he's not the one.




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